Monday, 21 March 2011

Bad Romance

Hello fair blog readers, sorry to have left you for so long. I did not intend to leave you hanging as though you were waiting for the next series of Lost. Like all good American dramas, (and Glee), lets start with a quick recap..... Your intrepid helm had embarked on a whirlwind affair with the racy Mach 2. Carbon Footprint was waiting deciding whether to forgive said intrepid helm and Adam was stirring up controversy in the Moth world with his wing. And that’s what you missed...

So here’s what happened...

Season 2, Episode 1 - Bad Romance

Following the brief fling with the younger model, the oh so dashing Mach 2 had stolen my heart with his slinky foils and silky control, he got back together with his partner and ran away to Spain. Oh well girls, it’s just like they say in Cosmopolitan, ‘never believe them when they say they will leave their partner’.

There is nothing like a moment of ill advised folly to make you realise where your heart truly lies. I returned to the dinghy park in Weymouth, and there she was, pink shiny stars on her foils sparkling in the sunlight, what had I been thinking? Carbon Footprint could only ever be the one for me, (unless Adam happens to be reading this and deciding whether to get me a Mach 2 for my birthday - in which case, please ignore pervious statement and don’t hold back honey!) I needed to let Carbon Footprint know how much she meant to me, that the racy Mach 2 had meant nothing, it was her I was thinking of as I was gybing in his arms... and after all we were on a break.

Carbon Footprint did not take this as well as I had hoped; we went out a few times but things just weren’t the same. That silky smooth control was gone. I tried buying her presents, (ok, so getting a reel of 4mm dyneema is bit like getting socks for Christmas, but her old ones were worn out and 4mm always comes in handy, right?) I treated her nicely, taking her to her favorite spots, (the Weymouth flat-water-pay-pen), and only asking her to go out when the conditions were really nice. Things improved on the surface, it would seem like everything was going fine, (we would manage to foil in a straight line for 500m without any lack or control issues), then suddenly, wham! She would slap me round the face with a massive pop out. What was that for? I had to face up to it, things weren’t going well. Should I just give up? Should I while away my time wistfully dreaming of the Mach 2 coming back, telling me he had made a big mistake and whisking me off into the sunset? No, it’s Carbon Footprint that I love and so there was only one thing for it, I had to work at it. But what should one do to revive an ailing relationship? I needed advice, I needed to put some serious research into the subject. 14 back to back episodes of Desperate Housewives later I had found the answer..... the fail safe way to revive any ailing relationship.... the one and only cure all for any relationship woe ........................... cosmetic surgery.

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